Prescription for Disaster: Methadone, Misery and One Man’s Mission

Posted on: February 5th, 2012 by
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7 Responses to Prescription for Disaster: Methadone, Misery and One Man’s Mission

  1. Kelly Meserve - Mahar had this to say about that:

    Thank you Tonya1968 for listening. There’s so much more I could tell but I try to stay on track and focus on the positive. I’m really glad I found this site. I’ll check in every day now! 🙂

  2. Kelly Meserve - Mahar had this to say about that:

    I’m a recovering addict of 12 years and I came across your site by reading my local newspaper and seeing a link. I find your information very helpful and correct. I would like to write a success story about Methadone. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very aware of the deaths caused by Methadone, along with prescription medication abuse. I’m not making excuses or “sugar coating” the problem. I’ve been in a Methadone Maintenance Treatment Program for 12 years now. I go to a clinic every day to get my Methadone. I have never had a pill form or prescription from my PCP or any doctor for Methadone. I’m a decent, hard working member of society and I am proud of myself for being so committed to my recovery. I have had countless friends die due to Methadone abuse. It’s an epidemic. I live in Washington County, Maine and in this area there’s record numbers of users, abusers and deaths. I want to say that not all people who take Methadone for addiction are “junkies”. I’m certainly not perfect by any means and I have relapsed 3 times in 12 years. I’ve been to dozens of groups, public meetings, schools, etc. to educate myself and others who’d listen. I only want people to know that not everybody abuses Methadone. Methadone saved my life. The day I started taking it is the day I turned my life around for the better. I abused Opiates, Heroin, you name it, I used it. I’m not proud of this but the impact these drugs have left on me is life altering. I’ve worked HARD throughout the years and even though I’m drug free now, I still struggle and fight with my mind to stay away from drugs every waking moment of my life. My brain says “Oh, I can do just one”. My heart says “Do you want to live?” Methadone changed my life for the better. If it weren’t for that medication I’d be dead. No question about it. When I was using, I didn’t care about myself, my life, or my well being. I let everything go including my marriage, home, and all that meant anything to me. I’ve been to 10 Rehabs and have been hospitalized many times to try and get off drugs, but I just couldn’t stop. I wasn’t strong enough. I had to want it for myself before anything good was able to come out of recovery. I finally had had enough and I hopped in my car and went away to Rehab for 7 months before I came back home. I wanted to have a happy life. I wanted to feel good about myself. I wanted to appreciate the little things that we all take for granted. I have loving, supportive parents who helped me the whole time I was away in rehab and they still do today. I remember sitting on my back deck and hearing the birds sing and I was in awe by the beautiful sounds they made. I sat there for a long time just embracing the sunshine and my surroundings that I’d taken for granted for so many years. It’s the little things that mean so much. I’ve seen my friends die, suffer, and be consumed by this illness we call addiction. I took drugs so I didn’t have to feel anything. I was very depressed and sad at that point in my life and I had everything a woman could want. I had a new home, a hard working husband who I lost to drugs, a great job that I looked forward to every day and 3 precious children. What more could I ask for? I had issues way before I started abusing pills. I was 26 years old. I remember using for the first time and I was so happy that it blocked my feelings and totally made my world a place I could bare. One pill led to two, two to three, and so on. It happened so fast before I knew it I had a bad addiction that I didn’t even mean to inflict upon myself. People get addicted just by taking these medications as prescribed. Statistics show that a person who doesn’t use drugs, can become addicted to a 30 day supply of Opiates/Narcotics without even knowing it’s becoming an addiction. Then your medicine runs out and your brain is trying to grasp onto that Opiate so you find yourself needing and wanting the drug. Our brains make a natural Opiate called Serotonin. That’s what makes us feel happiness and joy. Once you start putting these drugs into your system by ingesting or IV use, your brain stops making the “natural” chemicals and relies on you as a source for Opiates. The long term physical and mental damage that drug abuse causes are the biggest hurdle for me. I’m in intense therapy still. I do realize I had problems way before I abused drugs and that plays a key factor in my recovery. People need to look at WHY this epidemic is killing so many of our children, friends and loved ones. What makes people more vulnerable than others? What chemical differences do we have that makes us different and more prone to abusing drugs? I am not using this as an excuse, please believe that. I do not condone in any way people stealing, conning, and hurting others because they want drugs, but what makes them turn to that life style? I just wanted to write a little bit and tell you all that not all people who take Methadone are addicts or abusing the drug. I’m really impressed with this site and the information is accurate, not that I’m an expert. I’ve learned so much about this drug through the years. Suboxone is another known drug that’s used as a treatment for people dealing with addiction. That too is on the street and being sold and abused as much as Oxycodone and Narcotics.I really think it’s a never ending battle that we fight. There will always be drugs for severe pain and ailments we all have. Why do addicts abuse them? It’s not that people are just looking for a buzz or having fun. It’s WHY we go to the drug and WHY some folks have a stronger will than others to stop or to not become addicted and able to use without any consequences or physical effects. It’s a mystery to me but I try to make sense of it the best way I know how. I hope you take from this letter a better understanding as to how I, an addict, feels. I’m not speaking for anybody else out there. I’m only trying to state the positive benefits a drug such as Methadone can have. It’s the person who’s taking the medication that needs to be responsible and held accountable while taking this medication as a recovery therapy. Thank you for your web site and for giving me the opportunity to speak my feelings. I hope we all can help! Even if it’s one person we can save, then it’s worth it.

    • tonya1968 had this to say about that:

      Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Bren ONeal had this to say about that:

      Hey Kelly, Thank you for sharing your story wth us. You have a lot of questions and possibly as time goes by we can help answer them. Not in all addiction cases but some addicts turn to drugs as an escape from painful experiences from their past.Some people are being treated for chronic pain, injuries or recovering from surgeries then find themselves addicted to opiates. Addiction is a Disease ….that needs to be treated as such.But, over the years I have found doctors lack education about Methadone.At the present time the state of California requires their physicians to be trained about Methadone.If only other states would follow in their footsteps numerous lives could be SAVED. There is much more I’d like to share with you,also It would be my pleaure to get to know you better and if I can help you in any way please do not hesitate.Kelly you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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